In this first part of my retrospective Oscar Outlook, I’ll be eliminating a trio of overlong snores, and two classic musicals that have aged poorly.
97. “The Broadway Melody” (1928/29)
“The Broadway Melody” exemplifies the idea of not every important movie being a good one. One of the earliest musicals, it’s a historical piece more than a film at this point, and the sound technology was years away from being able to support the most sound-heavy genre. It’s downright incoherent in spots, and what is coherent amounts to an uninteresting, behind-the-scenes show business plot. The only reason to watch this is if you plan on ranking every Best Picture winner. Thankfully, it gets much better from here.
96. “Out of Africa” (1985)
The biggest sin a film can commit, as many others have said, is to be boring, and “Out of Africa” fully commits. Imagine an unsalted cracker in movie form. That’s “Out of Africa.” The boredom stems from Meryl Streep’s character being as basic as possible and Robert Redford phoning it in. There are few movie tropes that inspire less excitement than the “white person goes to colonized land,” so “Out of Africa” relies on the audience being amazed by the imagery over the story. I refuse.
95. “The English Patient” (1996)
“The English Patient” is the butt of a “Seinfeld” joke for a reason. It’s too long and too boring for me to ever consider watching it again. There’s probably a very interesting movie in here somewhere, considering the meat of the story is pretty gripping in the end. The road to get there, however, is borderline painful. While technically well made, it doesn’t stand out in the sea of period dramas that are on this list. If you want to watch every Best Picture winner, don’t start here.
94. “Shakespeare in Love” (1998)
In an alternate universe, we’d be talking about “Saving Private Ryan” in the top ten or fifteen on this list. Instead, we live in the universe where notorious Hollywood monster Harvey Weinstein campaigned an average-at-best film to a Best Picture trophy. This is the Oscars at its absolute worst. Aside from the shenanigans in the lead-up to the ceremony, “Shakespeare in Love” does look pretty nice and has a fantastic score. But to pretend it’s even close to the best film of its year is delusional.
93. “Gigi” (1958)
Would a musical with the song “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” on its tracklist be made today? Negative. There’s a creepiness that underpins much of “Gigi,” from that aforementioned opening number, to the uber-misogynist construct of Parisian society, as portrayed. The trouble here is that I don’t think it’s trying to be ironic. The groomer energy isn’t funny; it’s the plot. Perhaps the flippancy is the point, but I don’t buy it. I’ll at least grant that “I Remember It Well” and “The Night They Invented Champagne” are certified bops, but two good songs do not make for a classic.
Sam Zavada is counting down his ranking of every Best Picture winner in the history of the Academy Awards in the lead up to this year’s ceremony on March 2. Participate in the Times Leader Readers’ Ballot for the 97th Oscars by filling out the form at https://bit.ly/4hd8n6F. The Readers’ Ballot will close on Friday, Feb. 27, at 8 p.m. and will be revealed in the Saturday, March 1, edition of the Times Leader.
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